they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
