It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
