fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
