From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
