I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
