how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
