I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
