D3 body, D1 cock
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
