Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
