I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
