I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
