I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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