WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
