I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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