Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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