let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
