apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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