We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i think my cat just said my name.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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