Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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