so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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