That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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