...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
