a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
