I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
