I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
