The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
