I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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