Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
