using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
