Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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