i would punch a child for taco bell
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
