Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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