Walk of Shame. In a state park.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
