Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
