Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dignity is for republicans.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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