thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
