I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
