Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
