Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
