What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
