Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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