well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
