Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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