So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
