His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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