she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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