So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
