one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
