if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
