Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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