And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Help me help you realize you are a moron
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
